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itripped / creative commons
The 2019-2020 fantasy football season has come to a close. And with its finale comes the glory of victory, but more importantly, the sting of defeat. For most leagues, merely emptying the wallet of the last place finisher isn’t enough. There must be a reckoning in the form of public embarrassment, physical challenge, or a healthy combination of both. In the coming days, if you see a grown man selling lemonade on a street corner while dressed in a Boy Scouts uniform that is much too small, or a man approaching a woman at a bar while wearing a shirt that reads, in crudely scribbled Sharpie, “I HEART PEGGING”, then chances are you’re witnessing someone who drafted a kicker in the first round.
Twitter user Cyrus Wittig was forced to endure a fantasy football punishment of his own: The Waffle House Challenge. And he chronicled his penance for our sadistic enjoyment.
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cywittig / twitter
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Cyrus is hot out of the gates with a stack of SIX waffles.
He’s clearly confident. But will packing on this many cals this early in the game set the tone for success? Or will he be on the floor in a food coma before noon? Only time will tell.
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Good move avoiding the butter. Can’t afford any extraneous calories hogging up stomach room. The syrup will help with the cottonmouth, and shouldn’t be too costly, as long as he keeps it light.
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Apparently, eating three waffles in the first 15 minutes is not working out as he’s hoped.
Let’s see if he can hang in there….
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A dangerous move as proteins are extremely filling. Here’s to hoping he can power through.
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We need a medic!
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An ‘Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ reference, for the unenlightened.
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Fantastic way to deal with a heckler.
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His friends have stayed by his side for encouragement. Or harassment. Probably both.
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He’s not going anywhere until the job is done, folks.
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I hope he’s brought a sleeping bag because at this rate, he’ll be spending the night on the cold Waffle House floor alongside the drunken college kids.
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“A champion is simply someone who did not give up when they wanted to.” — Tom Landry
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Eight hours and nine waffles in, Cyrus has exploded through the wall to catch a second wind.
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An unexpected obstacle — a pair of obnoxious youngsters threaten to shake his focus.
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After a brief moment of doubt, our hero sets his sights on a final drive.
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And he’s done it!
At 9 pm, 12 hours after walking into an unsuspecting Waffle House and taking a seat at the precipice of destiny, Cyrus downed his 12th and final waffle live on the internet.
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cywittig / twitter
12 waffles up, 12 waffles down. History has been made, folks.
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