1
If you recall your days of applying to colleges, then you know that it’s insanely competitive. We were told to join clubs, do community service, and play up any angles that we could leverage to get ahead, including if you had any sort of unique heritage. So it makes sense that this kind of fuck up would happen, and get posted on the TIFU subreddit. And yet, you’ve got to wonder why this guy didn’t do a little more research over his supposed Native American heritage before filling out his applications and compromising his future.
Always, I’ll let him tell it:
“So little backstory, to my knowledge I’m just about an 8th Native American. My parents didn’t raise me spiritual or anything but I knew they did have a little shrine they liked to keep some things and whatever it was just part of the house I had friends ask me about and it was nothing crazy.”
All good, so far.
2
“They are also really fond of leathers and animal skins which… Cringe but anyway.”
“When I got old enough I asked my parents what tribe we were and I was told the Yuan-Ti. Now I didnt know anything of it but I did tell my friends in elementary school and whatever and bragged I was close to nature (as you do). So recently I applied to colleges and since you only have to be 1/16 native I thought I had this in the bag. Confirmed with my parents and sent in my applications as 1/8th Yuan-ti tribe.”
With me so far?
3
Then, the other shoe drops. He mentions that he was talking to someone at work, who told him that the Yuan-Ti tribe isn’t a real Native tribe, but a fake one from Dungeons & Dragons. Then, he pretty much shit himself.
“I found out all these years that is a fictional race of snake people from Dungeons and Dragons.
“TLDR: since I was a kid my parents told me I was native Yuan-ti but actually they were just nerds and I told everyone I know that I was a fictional snake person.”
I mean, I get being really into a fandom and all, but this is just wacky. While the kid should have done his own independent research, his parents, on the other hand, need some help.
4
What’s ironic, is that if you know your D&D lore, then you might recognize that the Yuan-Ti are like the sneaky spies of the game. According to one comment: “Yuan Ti are actively infiltrating the human society by sending their most humanoid-like members to live in human towns. So… a little prank or a worldwide scheme? :)’
I mean, we all know that the government is being run by the Lizard-people, so maybe OP is onto something.
But wait, it gets better.
5
According to the comments, his parents didn’t even apologize. In fact, they doubled down on their beliefs. Going down the comments, he admits that he’s been contacting the colleges and explaining the mistake. Given that it’s more childhood gullibility and parental insanity, than him trying to cheat the system, it should all work out in his favour.
As for his parents, they’re not sorry. He writes: “I think they’ve blurred the fantasy and reality line here.” Despite telling them it was for college applications, they stood resolute that they were of Yuan-Ti ancestry, and legitimately think they’re defended from snake people. No lie.
Understandably, he’s looking to move into residence and give his parents a wide berth for the next little while. Until they get their shit together realize that they’re not snakes.
6
Then again, maybe this kid should try applying to Hogwarts. He’d fit right in if he can talk to snakes, and has guardians that are a little fucked in the head.
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